UPDATE AND ONLY 4 DAYS LATER

Hello All, I went to see Allison on Monday. It was a good visit, I don't have to back now for 3 months unless something happens. So, giving you fair warning if I don't write much in the next couple of months. Please understand that I go back to work on August 10th, WAIT I am still working, uugghh! This darn summer school but it will help to pay for the cruise that we are all going on in March on Spring Break Yea something to look forward too. Anyways, back to my visit with Allison, went well. All of my electrodes are still working so I don' t think I will have any malfunctions there whew!!! I had to do another hearing test with sentences and words. Well I got 100% on the sentences and 60% (15/25 words) on the words. BUT I was getting the words with only 1 letter wrong like lug for mug, noose for neice, doll for dull, etc. its harder without any context to help me figure it out. I do know that Allison said it should get better by the next visit as I keep working on listening.
On a side note, there is a new processor coming out in the next couple of months so I may be a candidate for getting the new processor which is smaller than the one I have now. So I will find out if I can be part of the trial run which would be cool. I think that I will get pink again. I like my pink processor ALOT!!! But then again that's me! Talk to you all soon. If you would like to get a hold of me sooner, email or call me. Bye Great Grandma and Glen ; )

Hello Hello Hello

I did not wait so long to come to y'all this time. Yea for me to remember! Anyways, went to see Dr. Kelsall on Thursday of last week just for a check up on the surgery inscision and stuff. All is well, he asked if I would do it again and I said of course. It has been challenging but great. Its all work for me which is fine by me, keeps me on my toes. He did tell me somehting that would be really cool, if I decdie to the other ear. This week he was doing the 5th surgery on a new implant/ hearing aid hybrid. So, the hearing aid part would get all the low tones and the implant part would get all the high tones. That would be so cool!!!! So that could be the next thing for me in a year or so, we will see how things are going. For me to have high tones in both ears may drive me crazy but it would be worth it, don't you think??? Well I go see Allison the third week of July so I will have more information and how things are going then. I will let you know that I definately could tell that I have not been listening to the radio for the last 4 months, went to the Bucky Covington and Blake Shelton concert and had a hard time understanding what they were singing. didn't have a hard time hearing, it was sooooo loud, OMG. Oh well, we will see how it goes when we go to Def Leppard in August. Talk to you later folks.

OOOPS so much time as passed!

OOOPS, sorry about the time passing right on by folks. I have been doing Summer school services for my special ed. kids, getting Ty to dog shows, going boating with the family, working on the outside of the house, and are there any other excuses as to why I have not been on here. I went for a programming session on May 27th and it went really well.
Allison did some testing with me in the booth and I heard all of the sentences and missed only three words in the whole session. This is wonderful news, so I have the ability to hear now I just need to gain the capability to hear. I need to work on listening to people without having to look at their faces. That is going to be my challenge for the rest of my life especially since it is a 39 year habit. Not a bad habit but a hard one to break. I do have my hearing aid in full time now also and that has been helping with more natural sounds while my implant helps with making everything really clear. So I think I have the best of both worlds right now. I go back in middle of July to see how things are improving, so we will go from there. Talk to you later folks.

Man is it May 18th already!!

Sorry folks, don't mean to forget about you. But all these meetings are driving me insane. I am also addicted to Farm Town and that takes all my time, just kidding??!! Anyways on to the important stuff, hearing is going well. I am doing better and better, pushing and pushing but its still too slow. I start speech with one of my speech friends tomorrow so we will see how that goes. Hopefully she can outwit me and make me work, after work!! I am hearing all the things I think I want to hear, environmental sounds are definitely easier for me, its the speech piece that keeps throwing me for a loop. Lisa, put it across to me in a way that I understood but it comes back to that patience thing and I don't have that trait real well. She theorizes that I hear more than I let myself believe!! Meaning is my brain tells me that I need the visual, not like I haven't used it for 39 years or something, so trying to tell my brain that it is ok for me to understand without the LIPS!!! Well, she doesn't think so and wants me to see the LIPS in order to understand all things. So, I am trying to work out a way to work on that but i am not sure what all to do. So, if you have a suggestion, let me know. I go see Allison on the 29th so that will give me more information as well. Still not using my hearing aid though. Well, talk with you all sooner or later.

Program 3, didn't I already do program 3 ?!?

Well Well Well, Program 3, didn't I already do program 3. Oh I did but it was different than this one. Man is it oud but yet good. If that makes any sense. Fans of all kinds are driving me nuts, projector fans, AC fans, house fans, they are just noisy. Oh, by the way Lisa, if the clock in the office ends up missing, don' t ask me where it is ok? Tick tick tick tick, uugghh!!! I am beginnin to notice that I don't hear highs as well as before, now are the lows over powering the highs? I can't seem to get it right. I hear them but not as clear, I can't seem to make up my mind on which I want I guess, I think I want both but will that overpower ME!!! All I know is that I need my family and freinds to start talking without facin gme so that I can force myself to listen, yea here comes auditory training--uuughh!!! But I know that I need it to keep progressing forwards. I can pick out songs on the radio now so that is good, like Hotel California by Eagles and Forever and Ever, Amen by Randy Travis. I will be going back down for the full battery of testing, sentences, beeps, and whatever else Allison will torture me with. This will be the big day as to see how well I have improved with my implant compared to hearing aids. I am still not wearing my hearing aid either. I am kindof afraid to put it back in, will it change all the work that I have done? In other words will my brain prefer that over my implant? Will it help my hearing be even better have both sides working, I could localize better thats for sure. My hearing aid seems to be an issue for me so I wonder do I need counseling ; ). Whatever!!! And to think 3 months ago, my hearing aids were my LIFE!! I went everywhere with them whether my ears hurt or not because of the molds. So, that has been a definite change for me. Althogh putting my hearing aid would help with the phone since that is the ear I listen with. Well, I will keep pondering my questions and see if I come up with any answers, if I do I will come back and let you know.

Another program, another program

Hi, I went to see Allison on Mon. and yet got two more new programs. However, these programs are really loud and I don't have to go back for a month!! Anyways, remember when I asked, "Can the highs overpower the lows?" Well in my case they were. Go figure, the power woman all her life still needs to have the power!! Allison did the reflex testing to see where my ceiling levels could be without blowing my head apart and set the implant accordingly. Let me tell you, she added more lows back in and it is starting to sound more normal than before. Not sure if that make sense. She says when I get on program three, it will be even better so we will see in another week and half. She still wants me to wait on the hearing aid so I am still without it. So that is good and bad when I need to hear on the phone though. She wants me to wait before trying to use the phone- so did she say that to get me to use the phone or really wait? I am going to have to think about that. As time continues, I will say that I am feeling very sure That I made the right decision to get my implant, pink and all. Well, I need to go take care of a sick husband and go to bed. Talk to you soon.

Last Program this go round

Hey All, I really have forgotten you but man work and kids are taking all my time. I have not been on the computer enough to make a difference except to screw things up. I know tenough to get me in trouble but not enough to get out! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!

Anyways, last program before I go back next Mon. I have lots of high frequencies, therefore my speech is clearing up again. In which I am not slurring my words as bad as I was, thank you Dawn for helping me be aware of that cuz I would never know. Also, I feel that my /s/, /sh/, and /ch/ are becoming more clear. The only question that I have is: can high frequencies override low frequencies? What I mean is that I feel that I am not hearing as well but yet I am--I know confusing that's me?? I asked Lisa but she hasn't answered me yet so I wonder if she got her texts, she has Verizon you know??!! Sometimes she doesn't get anything and I send it again. Maybe she will read this and be able to answer my question.

I am getting better at being able to carry on a conversation without having to directly look at them slowly but its happening. I watched a DVD program that a person made about Special Olympics with CJ, and I was able to pick out some of the songs but not all of them, I think they were rap and I know none of that!! So, that was cool since there were no singers to lip read just a slide show of pictures of all the kids. It was cool to watch.

BUT I just feel that I am missing something and not sure what it is. You know its like that recipe that you thought you knew but its missing something when you taste it? It's good but not how it should be, that is where I am at. I still go through the phase where my brain kinda goes into low mode to get ready to reboot, another words I don't hear jack crap, then all of sudden I am hearing everything again. Its really wierd how that happens and I think whew where am I and when did I come back???

So thats where I am at, I will let you know more later before I go in on Monday if it gets better. Good night y'all.

OOOPS Where have I been? Busier than Heck

Hey all of you people, I am so sorry that I have not been on to tell how things have been. Between boys, WORK, and implant, there has been no time for me. I haven't been on Facebook and have over 99 requests. That is NUTS!! Anyways, where do I start--GREAT NEWS first, there isn't any bad news sooo. I wen to see Allison, my implant audiologist, on April 10th. She was very happy with how I am doing. I think that I could do better but she says I am doing phenomenal (hope spell check catches this). So, lets' see I explained to her my complaints that people have told me, 1. slurring words 2. leaving off endings of words 3. feeling like I was in a dull mode (dead battery feeling) 4. not hearing my phone ring (now remember I had to work through 4 programs, while program 1-was all those high frequencies that were very loud to program two-lost all high frequencies and only had lows, program 3-more highs back but more lows than highs, and program 4-still more highs but lows still more noticeable but getting better).
Allison said wonderful "You need to have an increase in high frequencies to be above low frequencies to help balance you out." So, program 1 is my old program 4, program 2-more high frequencies and popping Advil again, program 3-even more higher frequencies and probably popping more Advil since I do this on Monday the 27th, and program 4 more and more higher frequencies and buying stock in Advil for I am truly supporting them now LOL!! I hope that this makes sense but it is a process that I am working through slowly which is driving me nuts cuz I want to move faster. Allison did say that my progress at this two week appt. is where most people are at 3 month appt. She also told me not to be so hard on myself since I still have a hard time understanding people without visuals. She said it could take up to 3 months for me to get that skill and I said Oh NO, not gong to work--give me 1 more month and I will be close to being there. Lisa laughed at me (probably not because I was being funny but she knows that I will probably get it done).

We went to the booth and she had me listen to the beeps (big surprise) and I am in the 10-15dB range for all the beeps (guess what people--that's in the NORMAL range!!!!) In having to repeat back sentences to her, I got 80% right which is 8 out of 10 sentences. You are thinking oh probably easy, familiar sentences so that is good. These were not familiar sentences but not off the wall either. For example, the field mouse got the cheese (BTW- I missed this one and said peas, not cheese), the boy is sucking his thumb (missed this one too), but I got all the others right, I just can't remember the sentences! What a dork!!

I am listening to books on tapes, listening to memorized cds like Lion King of course! I am enlisting the help of my Speech friends at work to work with me also and family is always trying to help in one way or another.

Thank goodness for all these people BUT especially my mom.

Mom, I want to say thank you so much for all the choices and sacrifices that you made in regards to me. Without your belief and "tough" love in so many ways, I would not be where I am today. I still struggle but your encouragement helped me to be a determined woman that perseveres in all that I do. I love you!! and I leave off with that folks.

Another Day Another day

Ok, well we are on program three at volume 9 now. It is different than program two by the fact that I have high frequencies back a little more than before. I am going through some ups and downs at the moment and Allison said that I would. But I was thinking nah, not me! WEll, its happening. It seems when I first turn on my implant in the morning, things sound fairly good then as the day wears on, it seems to go down into a lull, like my battery is dying. Which it isn't. Lisa tells me its that my brain is remapping itself and trying to make sense of it all. Well, get to it!! Quit taking so long, damn brain.

I know I know, patience is a virtue, I never said I had much for patience, ask my kids! They will even tell you that. So, while I need to find that virtue somewhere, I am stuck in this lull. Dawn and Lisa are working full time to keep me from going deep into the lull, so I hav to thank them for that.

It jus seems that I am missing out on so many things right now and I only get to participate when people are directly in my vision. So, I hear lots of blah blah blah, then all of sudden there is this person in front of me and I hear them talking ot me. Does that even make sense???? I don't know, its frustating but I WILL WIN!!!

So, I'll talk more tomorrow, I think I am going to make my husband take me out to dinner. Maybe that will help!

OK March 30

Well, I'm on my new program, program 2 at volume 9, and I am not sure that it is a program that I like. So, let me explain, I have 4 programs on my implant and as I said earlier I have to switch to a new program every three days...So , my thinking of this new program, I feel like that my battery is going dead. Its hard to explain to people that dont have hearing aids but it sounds very uhh monotone. I dont have as much high frequencies as I did before or the low frequencies are counteracting the highs, not sure which. I also can't hear the /th/ sound but still hear the /sh/, /s/, and /ch/ sounds. I still need to have visuals (lipreading)to help me to understand what people are saying but its slowly getting there.

I guess I am just not that patient, if anyone knows me very well, I always set my bar high and want it NOW!! Hmmm, where did I get that from? Couldn't be my mom, my solid rock, the one person that has pushed me harder than anyone I know. So, heres what I did, I went to the library and checked out books on tape, that will help me to start to understand words while I am in my car driving to everywhere that I drive for my job. I am also listening to my favorite CD's, Brother Bear and Lion King, since i have all the songs memorized, it will help me to figure out words while deciphering the music end of it also. Hopefully, I don't throw myself into a frenzy but I think that I will be fine. There are so many other questions that I have now and need to write them down before I forget so that I can ask Allison when I see her next Friday to change all my 4 programs again. Thsi will be a process that I do for a while to get my implant where it needs to be then I add my hearing aid back to the mix. That will be fun but I'm all for it!!

Stay tuned folks, I'll be back!!

NOISE NOISE NOISE

NOISE NOISE NOISE is all I hear but I am getting there. I cannot fathom how your hearing People do it all the time! I understand that I will be able to filter out the noise as I get better with my implant but it so different than my hearing aids. I know that the noise was there because people told me it was, but I never heard it so I had to believe you hearies. Now, I know what you all were talking about. No I get to learn all over again how to ignore all the extraneous noise and only focus on what I want to hear. The problem is I need to hear everything so I can figure it all out.

I went to Dawn's house today to hear her for the first time, she was pretty normal sounding, well as normal as Dawn can be! LOL!! Anyways, before I get in trouble, I could understand her pretty well. I was sitting on the love seat and all of a sudden I heard this HIGH frequency loud squeal and it was Patrick turning on the water in the kitchen. Man, that was bad!!! So, I get ready to go home and all of a sudden I heard the jet plane, the first one since my implant but I knew what it was, couldn't find it right away and Troy had to point it out to me. But that was cool, while people are laughing at me standing in the street looking for the jet. So, while I do strange things searching for a sound I think I am doing OK so far.

I am proud of myself that I have not used my hearing aid at all since my implant has been turned on. I am not getting to frustrated yet but I do tend to fade out into la la land because I can't make sense of it. So, if you are with me, please make me be part of the conversation so that I improve, otherwise I will be there but not actively there. Just a coping mechanism that most hard of hearing people have which has proven useful at times but not now in my case.

This is my journal for the day, I'm not falling apart at this time. Stay tuned for more when I might fall apart. LOL

Hearing-what's that?!

OK, to answer that question right now will be difficult for me. What am I hearing? A lot of jumble up noise.

I went to be activated yesterday, sounds like I am becoming robotic (well that what is sounds like too). I was excited to have Dr. Kelsall take out my stitches but whew he used rubbing alcohol to make sure my insiscion was clean youch! That burned. I have a new found understanding of when I take stitches out of my dogs or greyhounds from being spayed. It can/does hurt at times since the skin can grow over the stitches. I will be more patient and understadning when the fur kid jumps to the side when I pull one or cut one to pull. It always works that way, you have to experience it first before you can understand it. Now I get it! So he proceeded to take them out then used the rubbing alcohol again! Now that one burned, mind you he didn't dab it on there, he rubbed it on there. I am a still a little sore so the pressure took me by surprise as well. After he was done, he said it all looked great, come back in three months to recheck. He made a comment about the bruising on my face, he stated, "that has never happened before, you need to use a hot pad and it will help the bruising go away." Great, I would have to be the one to get the bruise on my face from the facial nerve monitor. It sounds better when I say its been Troy knocking me around. Now, if you now Troy that would NEVER happen.

So then I waited for the next appt. to see Allison, my audiologist, that would be turning me on. I was excited, nervous, anxious, happy, scared, ok let's face it, I was going through all my emotions at one time! She talked with me about how it was going to go. First, she needed to check to see if all 22 electrodes were working, sometimes not all of them work. So, we were praying for all 22 green lights! By the way, who is we? Lisa, Troy, and I were all my appt. Did all 22 green lights show up? YEA, all 22 were working. Then, she wanted me to turn off my hearing aid, it has only been turned on 1 more time since then. I had to listen to the beeps and count how many I heard from 2-5 beeps. The cool thing about this is that I was hearing beeps in frequencies that I have never heard before!!! I was able to get through that piece with flying colors, I think I missed about 3-4. Only a teacher would be worried about that, oh right I am one! Next, Allison told me to turn on my hearing aid so that I could listen to the next set of directions, hasn't been turned on since. She wanted to see how well I could respond to my name, a word, three words with different syllables, and then sentences. Now, let me tell you, I knew which words she was going to say except when she did sentences which was common phrases. She covered up her face so that I couldn't read her lips, and whalla we began. I got through my name, the first word, syllables, and got two of the three sentences right (I was really taking my chances on those though). It was pretty exciting! I did come to several conclusions, womens voices were easier for me to get a grip on, Troy's voice really sucked (but its getting better), it was delayed by milliseconds from lip reading to hearing, this world is very noisy with all these high frequencies, and does it sound robotic, yes it does for now. Allison says before I left, that I am doing better than some people do at their two week visit. So, that helps but she said I will be happy, frustrated, and othet things until we get the mapping to where it needs to be.

So, my assignment for the next two weeks, I need to stay in program 1 for 3 days, then switch to program 2 for 3 days, then switch to program 3 for 3 days, then be in program 4 with my volume at 9 (the highest) by the time I go back. I think I'm on Prednisone! Never mind aobut that, we don't want to go there! So, she sends me home with this HUGE box of stuff that I get to go through on my own time and practice hearing. So, it sounds different being on dry vs wet roads. Going through water on the road is really loud. I hear the differences between my children, some of them sound like they are on helium but thats ok. My mom sounded wonderful but a little high! I can tell which dog is barking by the frequency (some of the time). I had to change my ringtone for text messages but I can hear it when it is behind me and I am not waiting for a text. Watchig TV is a challenge without the closed captioning, as well as, regional wrestling tournament for Dyllan (who took 2nd for those who want to know, on to State next weekend). now, I am in my office, fairly quiet except for my fingers clicking while I type--I sure hope I learn to drown that out with email, blogs, and face book. However, I want you to know that I have not had my hearing aid on since I turned it off yesterday at 2:00pm. Do you have any idea how weird it is not to push in my ear mold? I don't have one now and I keep poking my ear with my fingernail. Hopefully soon I will get out of that habit but 39 years is a long time to have a habit. It was even a good one and I have to quit!! What's up with that?!

I think that this is long enough for now, you are probably thinking get finished already!! So, I will touch back with you all later. Allison did say I should journal to help myself remember all the sounds that I am starting to hear. So, I will just journal on here. Take care and love you all.

Gradually improving

OK, I am getting back to normal, slower than I want but getting there. I am still taking afternoon naps but I am getting up earlier now so I am thinking a couple more days and I will be good as new. My stitches look really good according to other people, not sure since I can't really see them so I have to trust them all which would be my husband, kids (not sure about trusting their opinion), Dawn, and Lisa. Then what will happen, I will go get my implant turned ON!, Then what, will I be tired again?

I do want you to know that taking showers is a challenge. This would be the one time that short hair would be awesome but then again long hair is awesome as well. Washing short hair would definately be easier but my long hair covers all the stitches and shave spot. It is starting to ITCH now which is driving me insane but I know that it is healing which is a good sign.

People have been asking me what I am going to do for Spring Break next week, I have been telling them "Learning to hear and listen all over again!" I will be without my hearing aid next week because the implant team want me to USE my implant to start recognizing sounds and attaching meaning to those sounds. So, I know that I will TIRED all over again but guess what? I am EXCITED for that part. I will let you all know how it goes when it gets turned on Friday. That is the next D-day for me.

So, the next round of questions are going through my head like 1. What will it sound like? 2. Will it be different? 3. Will it be hard for me figure out? 4. What do I want to hear first? 5. How will I react when I first hear something? Cry, laugh, or what?

Feelings are so hard to describe but when the tme comes I will do my best and let you all know. Thank you to everyone throughout for your support, love, and prayers. I used them all up!!!

Home and great news

I got home later thatn I expected on Wed. the 18th. I didnt get home until 9:00ish. I was having a hard time with pain and nausea so we had to work that piece that before Swedish would let me go. I also had realy low blood pressure when I fell asleep. But I did get to come home and not have to stay so that made me happy.

I have been sleeping more than anything right now. I got sick last night and I am thinking it was the cephalexion (antibiotics) that they have me on. SO, I will try again today but if it happens again, I will be calling Dr. Kelsall to if he can use a different antibiotic. The pain has been minimal so far. I am taking Darvset for that but haven't had any today cuz I am waiting for the stomach to settle.

I have about 17 stitche behind my ear and shave spot. Luckliy I have long hair so most people wont see the inscision. OK gotta go, Im getting tired , will write more later.

The Night Before Surgery!

It twas the night before surgery, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. OK OK Ok, I won't go there! Well everyone, I am as ready as I am going to be. I have been told to go to bed so that I can rest for tomorrow but I have so much I need to get done. Well, really only a couple of things like taking a shower (cuz who wants to do that at 4am, NOT ME), shaving my legs(critical since people don't want to see a forest, as my husband would say--just kidding, Me NOT HIM!), getting the dog's food ready for 4:30am feeding (they are going to think I am cracked), making sure I have all the papers ready to go, pick out my wardrobe for the day (suit or sweats, what should it be?), taking all my jewelry off (hope the ear holes don't close since there are 7 of them, maybe someone will try to pick me up LOL, I love you Troy!), getting all the stuff ready for the kids (like money to feed them while at the hospital, oh wait they will be sleeping!!), and who knows what else I will come up with (oh, finding those word tiles for Jeremy!).

I have recieved so much support/loves/prayers from various people and boy did/do I need them. So, thank you very much and I will write soon when I am not drugged up and incoherent. Love you all.

Feelings on different levels

There is a time and a place to let my fears come out into the open or at least how I express it. I was trying to be funny and it bit me in the butt. That usually happens to people when they are trying to be funny, especially me since that is Troy's job, not mine. Therefore, I need to apologize to one of my kindest friends for making them feel bad for helping me be aware about what could happen after my surgery. Lisa, I want you know that I want you to tell me what I might/might not experience because in the end it can only help me. I did not mean to make you feel awful. You are one of my kindest/dearest/supportive friends that I could ever ask for and I do not want to jepordize that friendship, so kick me in the butt and make me pay for it one way or another : ) Love you, Guzman!

Now, to even expose myself even more, I went to Estes Park this weekend with my husband, Dawn, and Jason. We go every year so that we can have a respite weekend from the boys, we have four and they have three. We decided to wait until this weekend so that I could have a relaxing weekend before my surgery. I want you to know that the cool air, mountain scenery, and wildlife were beautiful and calming. However, in having discussions with my husband and Dawn, I figured out that I am more nervous that I thought. It is more for what will happen after surgery and how will it affect me and my family. I think about all the changes that will happen and is my family ready for those changes? Andy, the oldest, is fine and hasn't said much really about the surgery one way or another. He tends to be the quiet one. Cole, the second oldest and my first biological child, does not want me to do the surgery because he thinks that I should just be the way that I am. However, he supports me in my decision and will be with me the day of surgery and throughout. Dyllan, the second to the youngest, encourages me to do what I feel is right and will be there if I need him to be. Ty, my youngest, wants mom to be ok. I beleive that he is worried the most since he is only 10. I think that he is more worried about surgery and what they are going to do to my head. My husband, who doesn't say anything but supports it because he knows that I want it. So that is a good thing but his honest opinion would be nice at times. As far as the rest of the family and friends, most are excited for me but how much do they really know, I'm not sure so I guess we will be finding out here soon.

I do want to THANK everyone for their support, I really DO APPRECIATE it.

The Countdown is ON!

Well people, the countdown is on! I have 6 more days before I go to surgery. I am waiting for the Dr. to be able to send in my prescription for my antibiotics and pain meds, Wal-Mart seems to think that they are really busy and the fax says so. So, Dr. Kelsall's office is going to keep trying to send it, hope it gets there before next Wednesday as I am sure that Troy does NOT want to take me home without those items waiting for me when I arrive.

I am nervous about the outcome and how long it will take for me too adapt. I am NOT worried about surgery, just don't look forward to puking when I come out of (spelling will be wrong) anasethia. Never fails, however I did hear from people some things to try. NOT, that Lisa didn't help matters when she said, "yea, you will be nauseated anyways due to them inserting it through your round window in your ear which messes with your balance system, so may be dizzy too." NOOOO, I didn't want to hear that!! Thanks Lisa, appreciate that! What else will I hear before the final day? I don't know but I am REALLY excited even though nervous. I seem to go through a variety of emotions, sometimes I wonder how is that possible? To be nervous, excited, apprehensive about puking (who wants to do that?!), all in one person at one time. Guess what, it can happen since it's me!

OK, thanks to my family for wanting to go with me at 5 am in the morning, I'll drive so we get there faster OK!

Directions to hospital and surgery (mom needs this so thought you all might)

I will be at Swedish Medical Center on Hampden Ave. If you are coming from Northern area, take I-25S to Sante Fe exit, take Santa Fe (stay to the left) to exit US 285North. Follow that until you get to Logan St. take a left (you will see a big dragon on the top of the building), go to next stop sign go right(Hampden, which is right in front of the medical center), next right is the parking garage. Walk across the street to the main entrance of the facility.

Go in the main doors, walk straight towards the back then make your first right to go to the elevators. Take the elevators to the third floor, look at the floor and you will see colored stripes, follow the purple stripe to the "normal" surgery area.

You know that if you get lost easy, you can look it up on www.mapquest.com http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=Brighton&1s=CO&1y=US&1l=39.985298&1g=-104.82&1v=CITY&2c=Denver&2s=CO&2a=%5B4000-4099%5D+E+Hampden+Ave&2z=80222&2pn=Swedish+Medical+Hospital&2y=US&2l=39.653&2g=-104.93985&2v=STREET#a/maps/l:::Brighton:CO::US:39.985298:-104.82:city::1/l:Swedish+Medical+Ctr:501+E+Hampden+Ave:Englewood:CO:80113:US:39.65316:-104.981707:address::1/m::7:39.818305:-104.91928:0:::::/io:1:::::f:EN:M:/e

If you get lost in the hospital, just ask someone where to go. I don' t think that the female species has this problem, it is the male species that can't seem to ask for help.

It is planned to be only a day surgery, which starts at 7:30a.m., about 1 1/2-2 hours later finished, then recovery to start the process to come home. I am predicting that I should be home sometime in the late afternoon.

Thanks to everyone for their support and love so far through this journey, especially my family!

Website information

If you would like to read more information on cochlear implants here is the website www.cochlearamericas.com

I am getting the Nucleus Freedom in pink and silver. Not too wild for a 30 something year old right???? Oh well, I am the one that has to wear it besides Dyllan, my middle son, thinks its cool since pink is his favorite color. LOL!!!

PRE-OP INFORMATION

Howdy to all of you! I went for Pre-op today. That was an exciting process to go through. I had to be there at 2:15p.m. so I get there about 2:00p.m. I go to the reception desk first to find out where I am suppose to go since it is not really marked as to where to go. She takes all my information that took about 20 minutes to finish all the while i am standing there with Troy bumping into me for entertainment! Let me tell you, he can be worse than the kids sometimes( ok, most of the time LOL) . Then, the receptionist takes me to the Pre-admit office. So, I need to go peeee really bad so I ask where the bathroom is and the nurse in there says to wait a minute because she needs to see if I need to have a urine test done. Finally, she brings me a cup to pee in so that if they need it, they will have it. So, Troy and I sit down to wait and the receptionist for the Pre-admit asks for my name and what time I was scheduled for---guess what someone goofed! They (whoever it was) had me scheduled to come in on the same day as my surgery on the 18th of March. So, luckily they worked me in to get it done today. Boy, they do a lot more these days to get you ready for surgery. I had to have more bloodwork done (thankfully only 2 small vials, not SIX like last time), the did an EKG to check my heart or is that EEG? Anyways, my heart is fine! Then I had my appointment with Dr. Kelsall at 4:00, waited until 4:30 before I got in (without having to do another hearing test--whew!!) to see him to sign three papers signing my life over to him. Nah, just kidding all the papers for risks and all that.

Well, surgery is scheduled for 7:30a.m. on the 18th of March, but I have to be there at 5:45a.m. Are they cracked?? I don't even get up that early to get the boys to the bus for wrestling tournaments, Troy does that (what a great DAD). Therefore, to get to Swedish Hospital, we get to leave at 4:45-5:00 which means I have to get up at 4:00 to get a shower, feed my dogs (all 10 of them), and get my kids up LOL. They all want to go so we will see how grumpy they are. Probably me!!! Surgery will take about 1 1/2 -2 hours, then recovery room 1, then recovery room 2 for me to get ready to come home. The next hurdle will be activation on the 27th of March!

Stay tuned, I will write more tom. I am getting tired and need to go to bed! Thank you for all of your support.

I Have Answers!!! Even ones that I can live with!!!

Well, as I predicted, I made it worse than it needed to be. I AM NOT HUMAN, AM I??? I went in armed with all my questions and Dr. Kelsall answered most of them before I even got to ask! That's ok, it helped with keeping myself in check. He stated that I do have auto-immune hearing disease, which can/could have caused/continue my hearing loss. I may have had it since I was born (probably not) but it will always test postive when I have that bloodtest (some technical name ??), just like you would test postive for the antibodies of chicken pox (if you had it as a child) even though you don't have the chicken pox now. Ok, what happens without trying steriods, could lose more of my hearing but not likely. The "classic" auto-immune hearing disease happens when a person has normal hearing, then boom its gone. Not my case, hearing loss since I was born. So he felt in, in so many words, that doing the treatment of steriods would not benefit me, in fact it was about a 5% chance I would improve my hearing. I decided that 5% was not enough for me to go through Prednisone, so hence continuing with surgery. I will go back on the 5th for Pre-op and update eveyone on that information when I get it. I am sure of my decision of going forward with surgery is the right one, deep within my heart. Now, if my hearing gets worse after surgery in my left ear (not getting the implant) I would probably go through the steriods treatment to see if helps to preserve what I have and he said that would be fine to do it that way. So that makes me feel better that it is not a one and only chance deal.

Thank you to those people that helped me through this week and listening to me "vent" and question everything. You really helped me see all perspectives with an open mind, which is not easy sometimes.

I really have to say the Dr. Kelsall is a very good doctor (conservative) in a lot of ways. He is respectful to listening to what you have to say, reposnsive to your questions, and respects your decisions. I would recommend him to anyone that has any hearing issues of any kind. He has wonderful "bedside" manners, but also knowledgeable. So if you need information on him, let me know, I will be glad to give it to you.

Confusion and Uncertainthy

I have been debating if I should write now or later when I have more information to tell you. Well, I decided to write now and later so that you all know where I am heading. Remember the bloodwork that I had to do (all 6 or however many vials) well it came back with me having Auto-immune disease hearing loss, therefore I am meeting with Dr. Kelsall today. It is my understanding from the nurse/secretary that he wants me to try steroids to see if it will improve my hearing. WHOOO! Talk about a letdown when I heard that message. I am not really wanting to do steriods for obvious reasons so I am armed with my questions and my husband, Troy, to see how the discussion will start and end. I am thinking of the worse case scenario as people tell me, that's what humans do BUT I may be overreacting also. I have not slept well, been cranky at home, and anxious as of now.

So for future details, tune in later tonight or tomorrow.

SHOTS

Not only did I have to get a shot, but I ended up with TWO shots!!! Maybe I should learn to keep my mouth shut! I went to see the doctor yesterday for the first time (new doctor) and he was asking me all the normal questions trying to get to know me better for the few brief minutes that he was going to see me in a long time. During this questioning and answering session, I bring up how often are you really supposed to get MMR shots? He stated that you shouldn't have to get any more booster shots for MMR, then he asks when was the last time you had a tetnus shot? I said "uuuummmmm, not sure!" Lo and behold, I got a tetnus shot the same time, in the same arm, almost in the same spot (I'm sure the nurse was having fun), what is up with that?!! Then I, as my mother always taught me when you receive something, said "Thank you." What am I doing? Thank you for my shot, I really enjoyed that, DUH. I even told her that, I can't beleive I just said thanks for a shot, she laughed and said lots of people do that and she thinks its funny. It makes her job eaiser, I suppose.

So, no more torturing until actual surgery day which is still scheduled for March 18. But I will know more on the 5th when I go for Pre-op. Stay tuned!!

Getting Nervous (Ok SCARED)

Well, I (we) are getting closer to the real start of the journey. I have less than 4 weeks before surgery is scheduled on March 18th. I don't know the time yet but will let you know on March 5 when I go for Pre-op. Tomorrow, I get to go to the Dr. and get my shot and all that hub bub stuff that happens at the Dr. She is new to me so I had to actually schedule an appointment to meet with her. So, I guess I will see who my new "primary" doctor is, whom I will hardly ever see since I refuse to go to Dr.'s unless I am dying.

However the topic is not Drs but how I am starting to feel. People ask me all the time, "are you scared?" Usually I say, "yes, a little." Am I scared of the surgery, NO! But what happens AFTER the surgery, I'm starting to feel the tension happening within myself. I think about what it will be like when they turn on the implant. Will I hate it? HOPE NOT! Will I like it? HOPE SO! Will I be disappointed? DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK! How will my family deal with it? DEPENDS ON WHICH KID YOU ASK! Will they go nuts or support me? ALSO DEPENDS ON WHICH KID YOU ASK! Will I wish I didn't do it? GOSH I HOPE NOT! But can't answer this question until the time comes.

I will admit that I am scared now and I know in my heart that I am making the right decision but as with any life altering decisions you make in your lifetime, you always wonder. SO stay tuned as we get closer to the actual day and we will see how I am faring then.

I do want to THANK the people that have been supportive in all this journey so far. I love you for that!

Insurance Acceptance

I got the paperwork today that I was approved to get my cochlear implant! This news has made me happy! Johnnie called me today from Rocky mountain Cochlear Center and wanted to know all of my selections for my implant. I ordered pink and silver, so I get to decide how I want to be. I never had the choices of colors before so I am goin all out now. On Friday, I have to go to the Dr. that I never see and get a shot! Can you beleive that! The shot is to make sure that I don't get pnemonia which could go to bacterial menegitis, hence having to get the shot. I tell you having to do all this is worth it but jeesh I thought I was done with shots. I will let you know more on Friday what happens.

Start of the Journey--Bloodwork!

Well, aside from seeing the Dr. and getting the go ahead that I am a good candidate for surgery which was wonderful news, I must say!!!

I had to go and get bloodwork this morning. Now this may not be such an issue for you but I couldn't eat for 12 HOURS. Can you believe these people!? What are they thinking?

Anyways to start the whole story from the beginning, I was set to go to Summit View on Sat. morning at 7:30 so I could go eat since I didn't eat all night, man that was a killer. I get there and they tell me they can't do the bloodwork because my insurance says I have to go to Quest Diagnostics. Now, I want you to know that telling me this at 7:30am, 13 hours after I had last eaten was not a pretty sight. Troy says, "I'll take you to breakfast." Ok, so the people were nice at Summit View and pointed me in the direction of Quest Diagnostics across the road BUT were they OPEN---NOOOO! So, I now get to go eat.

So, on Monday I call Quest Diagnostics all ready to complain about not being open on Sat. to help people that can't really miss work and I got the computer generated voice (uuugghhh!!!) and set my appointment with it. So, getting the bloodwork done wasn't all that bad. The computer voice actually scheduled my appointment right, amazing! The lady takes me back and gets me ready to take my blood and she pulls out 6 vials and NOT the small ones either! I looked at her and siad, "You are going to take all my blood with that many vials!" She laughed and told me, "No honey, you will have plenty when you walk out." Thankfully she was right but then I go outside, get in my car, and eat the breakfast burrito that my sweet husband made for me.