Getting Nervous (Ok SCARED)

Well, I (we) are getting closer to the real start of the journey. I have less than 4 weeks before surgery is scheduled on March 18th. I don't know the time yet but will let you know on March 5 when I go for Pre-op. Tomorrow, I get to go to the Dr. and get my shot and all that hub bub stuff that happens at the Dr. She is new to me so I had to actually schedule an appointment to meet with her. So, I guess I will see who my new "primary" doctor is, whom I will hardly ever see since I refuse to go to Dr.'s unless I am dying.

However the topic is not Drs but how I am starting to feel. People ask me all the time, "are you scared?" Usually I say, "yes, a little." Am I scared of the surgery, NO! But what happens AFTER the surgery, I'm starting to feel the tension happening within myself. I think about what it will be like when they turn on the implant. Will I hate it? HOPE NOT! Will I like it? HOPE SO! Will I be disappointed? DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK! How will my family deal with it? DEPENDS ON WHICH KID YOU ASK! Will they go nuts or support me? ALSO DEPENDS ON WHICH KID YOU ASK! Will I wish I didn't do it? GOSH I HOPE NOT! But can't answer this question until the time comes.

I will admit that I am scared now and I know in my heart that I am making the right decision but as with any life altering decisions you make in your lifetime, you always wonder. SO stay tuned as we get closer to the actual day and we will see how I am faring then.

I do want to THANK the people that have been supportive in all this journey so far. I love you for that!